Meet Brandy Alexander: Texas Strong Woman of the Month

I am pleased to introduce you to the Texas Strong Woman of the Month–veteran, firefighter wife, mom, business owner, and one of my best friends–Brandy Alexander.

Meet Brandy Alexander

Although she was born in Fort Worth, Brandy spent her middle school and high school years in central Illinois before joining the Army. She left for Iraq immediately following graduation.

Brandy and I met five years ago through Mothers of Preschoolers when she was living near me in Hays County. At the time, we were both new moms and each had one young daughter. Now, Brandy lives in Houston and has three kids, and I’m still here in Buda with two. Brandy remains one of my closest friends.

She never ceases to amaze me with her determination and heart for putting others first. Brandy has experienced a lot of trauma and loss in her life but always gets back up stronger and ready to lift others up in their struggles.

She recently started her own company, Heart Crossed Designs, in memory of the baby she lost to miscarriage last year, and she always has new fundraising and entrepreneurial ideas up her sleeve. When Hurricane Harvey inundated the Houston area last month, Brandy asked me to create shirts to help the Houston Legal Aid Center (HLAC)–a nonprofit ministry supported by her local church–provide long-term flood relief in both the Cypress area and southwest Houston.

We’ve currently raised about $2,500 for HLAC’s Hurricane Harvey relief fund with our original #TexasStrong design from the 2015 central Texas floods and updated #HoustonStrong shirts, mugs, and iPhone cases on Teespring.

Texas Strong Woman of the Month

Favorite title(s) for yourself

My favorite titles are mom, wife, daughter, sister, veteran, and friend.

The most important title to me is “Mom.” I was told by a fertility specialist that I would not be able to have children without undergoing surgery. Two months later my husband and I found out that we were pregnant! And 7 years later I have three healthy and beautiful kids!

Your toughest lesson or challenge

My toughest challenge is anxiety and depression.

I was deployed to Iraq in 2003 at the age of 19. Compared to most, my deployment was not that bad. I experienced fire fights, IED’s, and death, but not on the level that many soldiers do. About 6 months after returning home, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well as anxiety and depression. It took years to get things “under control.”

I was finally in a good place when I got a phone call that would drastically change my life. On September 7, 2008, my dad died of a heart attack. Since my parents were divorced, and I was the oldest, everything fell on my shoulders. I was a wreck, and I had no idea what I was doing, and I was doing it without the love, support, and guidance of the one person who could always make me feel better when I was feeling down.

Just four short months later, Marcos left for Afghanistan. Needless to say, I fell into a deep depression and started making really unhealthy decisions. I had never felt farther away from God than I did in the two years that followed. Since then I have learned that instead of running away from God when I get anxious and down that I must run to him. Full speed. It is through my relationship with him that I have learned to recognize my triggers and get help as soon as I realize that I’m falling.

Your proudest accomplishment

My proudest accomplishments are my service in the Army and my marriage and children.

I served for 15 years in the Army National Guard. Through the Army, I was able to accomplish things I never thought were possible. I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people along the way, including my wonderful husband.

My parents separated when I was in junior high. I didn’t realize until later in life how their relationship affected me and my relationships. Until I met Marcos I didn’t know how to be in a healthy relationship, one that is full of love and understanding. I didn’t know what it felt like to have someone love you just because of who you are and not expect anything in return. We have worked really hard to get where we are today, and I am so incredibly proud of the life and family we have built. We have three beautiful, healthy children, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Your role model or mentor

My role model is my mom.

We do not always see eye to eye and we have not always had the best relationship. But the older I get and the farther I travel in the journey of motherhood the more I admire and look up to her. She is the strongest women I have ever met. My mom has endured tragedy and abuse but you would never know it by the way she carries herself. She loves her children unconditionally and has proven it time and time again. My has always been a constant voice of support and encouragement, even when I did not deserve it. She is the absolute best “Nana” in the world, and I could not do life without her.

Your best advice for newbies

Reach out, and be vulnerable.

What I have learned over the last several years is that in order to engage in truly meaningful relationships with people you have to be willing to put yourself out there. Find your tribe. Find people who you can share the good the bad and the ugly with. And let them see you weak and at your worst. For that is when you have the chance to grow and connect with people on a deep and spiritual level. Those are the relationships that God uses to grow you.

How you’re building community

This past year has been extremely difficult for our family for several reasons. We found out that my husband’s biological mom had stage 4 breast cancer. Prior to her diagnosis, she rarely had anything to do with us. She made it clear from the beginning that she did not like me or approve of my marriage to her son. I knew that God was calling me to do something big, bigger than myself. I felt in my heart that inviting her into our home was what we were called to do.

After discussing it in detail Marcos agreed. I had absolutely no idea how difficult it would be, it was a daily test of my faith and trust in the Lord as well as a constant test of our marriage. I found myself in an incredibly bad place, constantly questioning God and his motives. Why in the world would He ask me to care for a woman who clearly didn’t like me despite my best efforts to meet her every need. I started placing my worth in her hands instead of God’s hands.

That’s when I desperately needed an outlet. I needed a way to express myself. And I needed freedom from the burdens I felt like I was being required to carry. I had to get out of the house, but with three small kids and a firefighter husband who works two jobs, there wasn’t a lot of opportunity for me to get away. So, I would escape to the garage. I would have never imagined that in my garage not only would I create and build a business but that I would discover God’s desire to protect me and know me.

Miscarriage and Heart Crossed Designs

Then in March of this year, while already in the middle of chaos, I had a miscarriage. I was completely devastated and lost. In the midst of burying my hurt and pain, a business developed. With the encouragement of my husband and close friends I started Heart Crossed Designs, a custom wood sign and wood sign party business.

I wanted a way for women to get together and fellowship with each other, to share their stories and open up and learn something new about themselves and others around them. My hope is that in some way my signs can be a ministry to those I am serving. I pray over each sign as I am making it or preparing it for a party. With every sign I make, I learn more about myself and what trust and obedience in God looks like.

Quote or verse you live by

Live by grace, not perfection.

“For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.” (Romans 6:14 NIV)

Nonprofits you support

We try to look at and meet the needs of the people around us. I couldn’t tell you how many soldiers and fireman have slept either in our spare room or on our couch. We have provided room and board, food, storage, vehicles, money, and advice to as many people as we can. Last year for my sons first birthday we adopted a family from my hometown. We collected gift cards and household goods to send to them and at Christmas we bought the kids new coats, gloves and hats for winter.

“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” (Hebrews 13:16)

(When Harvey hit the Texas coast, Brandy’s husband Marcos spent five days in a boat rescuing flood victims with the Cy Fair Volunteer Fire Department, while Brandy and the kids took refuge here in Hays County, where she coordinated various rescues and collected supplies for several families in the Houston area.)